Sounds like a mix of Nashville and New Orleans, right? I almost went that way when I first read it. But then I realized where TMB is and how that could apply. You see, she is an urbanite. Part of her year she spends in Southern California. The other part she spends in Israel, and what she is experiencing is the lack of urbanity. I know, that's probably not a word, but hey, it's my blog.
I told her that I understand. Many years ago, I moved from Los Angeles, where I grew up, to the San Jose area. It was a change of pace. San Jose was a bit slower than LA. Then I moved, with my burgeoning family, to Sacramento. Yet again, a change of pace toward the slower side. After that it was back to LA for a few years. Then off to Georgia, where the pace depended, like California, on how close you were to the major metro. Three and a half years later, off to North Texas, and the Fort Worth area. Many people drawl Fort Worth together with Dallas, thanks to the location of the huge international airport, which sits smack dab in the middle, straddling the county line. Fort Worth is a whole different animal from Dallas. Much like the difference between Los Angeles and Sacramento. North Richland Hills, a little northeast of downtown Fort Worth is a pleasant community, with all the amenities you'd expect in an urban sprawl. It is, however, not dictated by the pace of the major metroplex mentality. I kinda liked it, except for the humidity combined with the heat. My last summer there, we had 46 straight days over 100. The humidity is generally around 60%. So, the next stop was Rhode Island. Specifically, moved into Warwick, VERY near the airport, which is called Providence Airport but is really about 15 miles from Providence, then to North Kingstown. Rhode Island is a state that is just over 1/3 the size of Los Angeles county. (Many of my Angelino friends just made a confused face.) It is also a place of extremes. NK is a pretty town (they're all towns, no cities) that is comfortably paced. Warwick, not so much. Providence I can't stand, never did, never hid that.
So coming to Fresno, city of my birth fifty-some years ago, was something I anticipated. I was only here for the first couple of years of my life. I don't remember any of it. All I know is we lived on Harvey. I looked at the map. Harvey has been broken into chunks now thanks to the 180 freeway. I don't know the street number, so I wouldn't have a chance of finding the old place anyway. But the pace here is a bit slower. Unless you're on West Shaw or North Blackstone on a Saturday. Then it's retail competition hell. You can find that anywhere though. Like Route 2 in Warwick.
So what was TMB asking for? How to cope with mom being a grump. She titled the entry "Time to Snow Some Love". There's apparently a sense of isolation and perhaps lack of "things to do" where she is. So how does one adjust from living in a place like LA/Orange Counties to living in "the country"? Here is how I replied on her blog:
It’s also a time to prepare. Spring will come and the seeds of the new year must be ready for planting. The times of going out to meet friends again, whether from nearby or far away, will arrive sooner than we think. So we spend some of this time creating, to share of ourselves with each other. Some will create artifacts, some will share old family recipes.
As winter forces us to reduce our activity, we must remember that there are reasons and not forget to look forward as well.
I admit it's something I struggle with, too. It's tough to slow down when you've spent the better part of half a century running full steam ahead to be an American. Now is my time to be an Indian. On the powwow circuit, there is always a scheduled start time. The Grand Entry will be at noon. Or 11. Or 1. Those are the typical times. The real times are 12:05-12:30, 11:15-11:40, 1:00-1:20, on average. Why? Because, as it was explained to me, and is usually announced at the powwow, "We do things on Indian time." What does that mean? Not that we don't care about time. It means that things happen when they happen. Schedules are not part of the Indian way of life. We have things to do. They get done. Don't ask when, or set a deadline. Seasons come and go and we know what needs to be done in and for each. If it's a long term goal, it could take a day or a week. Sometimes, instead of taking an anticipated four months, a project takes just over two years. But that is an unusual situation that I was more than willing to wait for, and it was very much worth it.
Can we change modes, from city life to country life? Of course. It only takes time. How much time depends on the person. The longer you've lived as a city-dweller, the longer it will take to adjust. Usually. I say that because sometimes the adjustment is made easier by a change in the heart. That happened to me. When my heart changed to see things from a very different point of view, the hustle and bustle no longer held any appeal. Can my friend make the change? I'm sure she can. Eventually. I think her situation will make that difficult though. I believe she'll be headed back to suburbia before she can fully acclimate to rural life. If she stayed, I know she could. She's a strong lady, intelligent and wise. She also has a big heart that, I think, can accept the change and grow with it.
Can you do it? Have you done it? And which way? Either transition can be traumatic.
Blessings, Love and Peace to you all.